One of the most common issues people around me have raised is –
“Why do we have to treat them special in the month of June? What even is the purpose of pride month? Isn’t it just another way for corporations and clubs to increase their profits/appeal?”
Okay, so first- pride month is celebrated to commemorate the Stonewall riots, which took place in the June of 1969.
Second, yes! It sure is a way for corporations to appear more ‘woke’ and youth-friendly.
Now, the most important question-
“Why do we have to treat them special in the month of June?”
Well, pride isn’t about treating the people from the community in a special manner. It is more about treating them with respect (like we would treat other humans with), acknowledging their struggle and making them feel part of society instead of an outcast.
In this piece we shall look at how it would be if every month were to be pride month.
Now, with every month being pride month, the significance of pride month would obviously reduce.
“Ohh, how angry it would have all the gays with the spotlight off them for good.”
Ironically, this would instead make the community even happier as it would make more people aware and sympathetic of their struggle.
It would also normalize their existence in the society.
What would this mean?
People would stare less at them, make them feel less uncomfortable. Companies and organizations would stop using them as a prop like they do in the month of June just to be discarded once the month is over.
Violence and crime against them would reduce in numbers, the members of the community would feel more empowered which would lead to them being more accepted in society, having better healthcare which would cater to their needs.
Mr. Martin died a peaceful death they said. There were no signs of pain or agony. His wife gave her condolences and came down to sit beside her son. When almost everyone was about to go, a man went up to the podium and called attention to him. It was as if they knew him from somewhere. All of them had seen him some time, somewhere.
When that man read out Martin’s note, everyone was moved. They somewhat understood where this was going. He knew the actual Martin. For everyone, Martin was the ideal male role model. He led the ideal life as social norms defined it.
Nobody really believed it when the letter claimed he never truly loved his wife. Everyone thought they were the ideal couple. But his wife didn’t seem surprised. She appeared to have known bout this all along. His kids appeared to be experiencing a life-changing shock. The scenario goes back to the 1960s.
He told it all in his letter. Martin had his first crush in his college days. “I realized I was unique after I lived in the men’s dorm. I still wasn’t able to speak it aloud.”Being gay in those years was not considered natural. He felt loneliness creeping over him as he thought he could never find love.
He never felt attracted to girls, when everybody around him was. For the longest time, he believed something was wrong with him. There was no representation for somebody like him, there was no validation.
In front of his parents and friends, he explained how he was able to act normally. What would one do if you were unable to communicate but were confined within your body with your brain still functioning? How can you maintain your sanity when everyone you know and love cannot see you? He claims that as a young boy, he had a weird coma. As his mind started to work again, he was left with nothing but his own thoughts. He was confined and had nothing to do except think. Additionally, they weren’t exactly pleasant ideas.
“Nobody will ever be kind to me. I’ll never be loved by anyone.”
And of course, there was no way out. You are doomed, he believed.
He concluded that leaving his ideas behind was his only choice. According to conventional conventions, he continued acting normally. Even though he had a crush on a boy in college, he nevertheless made friends with a girl, She fell in love with him and the two of them eventually got together. Even though he had no idea why he was deceiving himself, he was aware that something was wrong. He continued living in his cocoon, He didn’t know that coming out was really an option. He married the girl and had two children, but he always felt incomplete. When he told his wife one day, she didn’t really believe him.” You can’t be gay”, she said in response. It was a challenge rather than a command. She implied that he was definitely not gay.
But by expressing that, he felt better. He didn’t care if she believed him or not. He got to hope when he saw advertisements for a gay Bar. He started going out and meeting new people, people like him. He met different people, He met a man who was very different. He was quite older but Martin’s world slid when he was around him. Martin began to have feelings toward him. He could sense movement all around him. He felt like himself for the first time. The man reading the letter wiped his eyes and said, “yes, that was me.”
He realized what it was like to be joyful and in love for the first time. He was too delighted to give it much thought, even though he knew what he was doing was wrong for his family. He then began the relationship in private. His family could never know about this. Alongside his daily responsibilities, he did enjoy this. Later, he was promoted to manager at work.
He was really skilled at living a double life – but still, he knew something was missing.
All he wanted to do was live freely, and come out. But he knew in his heart that he was powerless to do so. He lived his life, took care of his obligations, and retired early. He remained faithful to his partner and carried out his marriage vows till the very end. But he had split apart somewhere between social pressure and love. He led a normal life for so many years, but what others didn’t realize was what was going on inside his head. Others watched in surprise as Mr. Martin’s true love wiped his tears stepping down from the podium. All were wondering how a seemingly flawless man could be so sad for years and realize that true happiness was found elsewhere and still couldn’t enjoy it to the fullest.
Occasionally, when I lay down and closed my eyes, I used to feel like a skatefish in pisciculture. Bleak lifelessness around me – a world drained of joy. They only saw in black and white, do you realize?
The funny thing is, I swam around. I floated around like a little plastic toy, discarded into the vast ocean by some rich spoilt kid. As light, weightless, and wasted. I felt my fins and tail as I traversed the water, the strong current against them.
My teachers had always told my parents that I was a queer child and that I daydreamed too often. Maybe they did get some part of it right, but I never dared to make the pun evident. Who are dreamers but lost souls, right?
My room used to be no different from my terror of a thought loop. It was almost like a black hole, everything sucked you in, and you lost your nature. You know, like the universe is no longer to be governed by the Laws of Senses. If absurdism gets narrowed down, the only thing defined in it would be human hypocrisy. They ask you to love and then say you are not supposed to. They preach to you to be true to yourself but accept only sugar-coated lies. I know.
My school was no better. It was not like my friends were any kinder. Their images flickered in and out of my daily life like a television channel on a poor signal. Despite being left with all these people around me, I was permitted only to use one bland, broken communication device. Will they ever know me for who I truly am? And then I’m in the pond again, my form obscuring my vision. Would it have changed who I am? Would I have forgotten who I was? I am glad you were there through all this.
At times I used to feel like this life was a conspiracy. But then you told me about the other colorful, joyous worlds I could spiral into when I was lost. Maybe all everyone in such a wicked world as mine needs is an ally. Things did not seem as hard. I finally had the courage to stand up for myself. You were not right by my side physically, true. But you were with me, in your heart. That is more than anything I wanted or needed. All this suffocation of shutting myself inside is finally off my shoulder, and I just wanted to say thank you.”
People are often just scared to speak up for themselves. They have to realize that what makes them unique is everything about them- their age, gender, identity, sexuality, interests, and whatnot. The pride community is not for today’s relief or tomorrow’s comfort. It is a movement for as long as it takes. And it is home. To love is human, and to love is divine.
Fifth Pillar - VIT 