Same-Sex Marriage: A look at India’s progress

By:- Viraaj Kumar Kulshreshtha

India is known worldwide for our reverence, respect, and tendency to have large and extravagant weddings. Yet, a portion of our population has been denied the right to have their union constitutionally recognized. Same-sex marriage is one of the most contentious issues and is not limited to India.
It has been one of the issues at the forefront of the culture war between political parties. Unfortunately, in many cases, it is also the cause that political parties unanimously stand against. It is then imperative that we look at and review India’s progress regarding its treatment of non-cis-hetero-conforming individuals.
The landmark decision decriminalizing same-sex marriage after the Navtej Singh Johar v. Union of India case made India among the last significant countries to reach this point. However, this wasn’t an easy road for the LGBTQIA+ community, forcing them to fight for their fundamental rights for the longest time.
However, activists supporting the LGBTQIA+ community have long been active in India. In 1992, the first protest for gay rights in India after independence was held. It was a protest against the then prevalent practise of police harassing and detaining men suspected of homosexuality.

In 2007, Article 377 was recognized by the Delhi High Court to be a violation of the Fundamental Right to Life granted to a person, along with a few other legal prohibitions. As a result of this ruling, combined with the High Court ruling applied to Pan India, the Ministry of Home Affairs expressed its opposition to the decriminalization of homosexuality in 2012, followed by a complete stance reversal by the ministry a few days after they initially expressed their opposition.
Amongst the women’s rights activists, Kiran Bedi is often cited as the person who broke many barriers for women to enter male-dominated fields. Unfortunately, when it came to the LGBTQIA+ community, it seemed as if she was setting up obstacles for other marginalized groups in society. When LGBTQIA+ activists requested the inmates be educated and provided with preventative measures for AIDS, Kiran Bedi strongly opposed it and threatened increased surveillance of the suspected gay detainees.
In December 2015, a bill to repeal Article 377 was raised but was rejected by a majority of the house against the bill. Following this, there were many organized movements for LGBTQIA+ rights in almost every subsequent year leading up to the 2018 decision to repeal the article. Even the supposedly progressive UPA alliance made itself one of the biggest roadblocks throughout the journey to repealing the article.
This is just the preamble to the main concern at hand, the legalization, and acknowledgement of gay marriage in India. Given the present scenario, what is highly outdated and causes a hurdle for same-sex marriage legalization in India is the different marriage acts for each major religion. Activists have been fighting for a uniform civil code for a really long time. When in 2018, the ruling party BJP, showed its support, there was a glimmer of hope that this might pave the way for the amendment of marriage acts to include LGBTQIA+ people.
Unsurprisingly, it was evident that the only goal of the proposal was to cause communal strife when in 2020, the union minister clarified that same-sex marriage was not even in consideration for the proposal. The legal battles started as soon as 2018 with the Shakti Vahini v. Union of India, where it was argued that a consenting adult has the choice of who to marry despite their gender.
The court, however, ruled in a vague manner, which activists say might be interpreted as a pseudo recognition under the Special Marriage Act after joint reading. There were three significant cases in 2020 which were all dismissed by the Union Government –
1.Abhijit Iyer Mitra & Ors v. Union of India;
2.Dr Kavita Arora & Anr v. Union of India; and
3.Vaibhav Jain & Anr v. Union of India.
In January 2021, it was stated that the government had to focus more on the pandemic being a bigger problem. This response was infuriating and somewhat ironic when one considers the incompetency and the inability displayed by the government once the second wave hit India. It is pretty evident that the government was deliberating on the pandemic when in 2020, a bill to set up a central council for homeopathy, a known pseudo-science, was promulgated.
Besides the hurdles mentioned above, there were plenty of minor hurdles that the community as a whole had to overcome. The first amongst these was the presence of misinformation being spread to the public thanks to various social media networks and other forms of media. One of the biggest threats to the existence of homosexuality in rural India is honor killing, where the children are killed by their families if they commit an act that brings “shame” to them. The acts range from inter-caste marriage, homosexuality, or even wearing jeans.
There is an additional layer of misogyny while talking about women and girls as it brings into the context that women are statistically more likely to be victims of crimes such as Honour Killing. On a smaller scale, the disproportionate acts that affect women, such as using gender essentialist language, discouraging inter-caste marriage, or talking about how they should dress, also negatively affect any progress made in LGBTQIA+ rights.
There are two ways to approach these micro and macro issues. We can either use a top-down or bottom-up approach where we change laws or the minds of the masses. However, coming from the top is easier because amending and changing laws has a trickle-down effect and has been successful worldwide. While only one of them would not be enough to ensure a smooth transition into an age of acceptance, as we direct more resources to fight the unjust laws, we also need to slowly change the populace’s view through positive representation in the media.
Even if this seems like an uphill struggle, we need to fight to the top, and if any group is shown to persevere throughout the ages, it is the people of the LGBTQIA+ community. It is also important to remember the progress we have achieved to fuel our future battles. We see an apparent increase in public acceptance of same-sex marriage from 29% in a 2015 poll to 44% in 2021.
We should also be proud of and secure the better treatment of transgender people even when compared to supposedly developed countries like the United States of America or the UK.
Compared to these countries, a country like ours can study and review the laws and the subsequent progress of other countries, amalgamating them to form the best possible environment for members of the LGBTQIA+ community, helping them to feel more comfortable in their skin. It is always helpful for us to be hopeful that same-sex marriage, conversion therapy bans, and adoption rights issues are only looked at in retrospect in the next couple of years.

Caption – India is known worldwide for our reverence, respect, and tendency to have large, extravagant weddings. Still, a portion of our population has been denied the right to have their union constitutionally recognized. Same-sex marriage is one of the most contentious issues and is not limited to India. Over the years, there have been many cases that have been important for the LGBTQ+ Community. Join us as we go over India’s progress when it comes to Same-Sex marriage.

On post: Same-sex marriage is one of the most contentious issues and is not limited to India. It has been one of the issues at the forefront of the culture war between political parties. It is then imperative that we look at and review India’s progress regarding its treatment of non-cis-hetero-conforming individuals.

What If Every Month Was Pride Month?

By: T S Venkat Narayanan

One of the most common issues people around me have raised is –

“Why do we have to treat them special in the month of June? What even is the purpose of pride month? Isn’t it just another way for corporations and clubs to increase their profits/appeal?”

Okay, so first- pride month is celebrated to commemorate the Stonewall riots, which took place in the June of 1969.

Second, yes! It sure is a way for corporations to appear more ‘woke’ and youth-friendly.

Now, the most important question- 

“Why do we have to treat them special in the month of June?”

Well, pride isn’t about treating the people from the community in a special manner. It is more about treating them with respect (like we would treat other humans with), acknowledging their struggle and making them feel part of society instead of an outcast.

In this piece we shall look at how it would be if every month were to be pride month.

Now, with every month being pride month, the significance of pride month would obviously reduce.

“Ohh, how angry it would have all the gays with the spotlight off them for good.”

Ironically, this would instead make the community even happier as it would make more people aware and sympathetic of their struggle. 

It would also normalize their existence in the society.

What would this mean?

People would stare less at them, make them feel less uncomfortable. Companies and organizations would stop using them as a prop like they do in the month of June just to be discarded once the month is over.

Violence and crime against them would reduce in numbers, the members of the community would feel more empowered which would lead to them being more accepted in society, having better healthcare which would cater to their needs. 

Now, wouldn’t that be just nice?

He Couldn’t Really Break Free

By: Vishal Agrawal

Mr. Martin died a peaceful death they said. There were no signs of pain or agony. His wife gave her condolences and came down to sit beside her son. When almost everyone was about to go, a man went up to the podium and called attention to him. It was as if they knew him from somewhere. All of them had seen him some time, somewhere. 

When that man read out Martin’s note, everyone was moved. They somewhat understood where this was going. He knew the actual Martin. For everyone, Martin was the ideal male role model. He led the ideal life as social norms defined it.

Nobody really believed it when the letter claimed he never truly loved his wife. Everyone thought they were the ideal couple. But his wife didn’t seem surprised. She appeared to have known bout this all along. His kids appeared to be experiencing a life-changing shock. The scenario goes back to the 1960s.

He told it all in his letter. Martin had his first crush in his college days. “I realized I was unique after I lived in the men’s dorm. I still wasn’t able to speak it aloud.”Being gay in those years was not considered natural. He felt loneliness creeping over him as he thought he could never find love.

He never felt attracted to girls, when everybody around him was. For the longest time, he believed something was wrong with him. There was no representation for somebody like him, there was no validation.

In front of his parents and friends, he explained how he was able to act normally. What would one do if you were unable to communicate but were confined within your body with your brain still functioning? How can you maintain your sanity when everyone you know and love cannot see you? He claims that as a young boy, he had a weird coma. As his mind started to work again, he was left with nothing but his own thoughts. He was confined and had nothing to do except think. Additionally, they weren’t exactly pleasant ideas.

“Nobody will ever be kind to me. I’ll never be loved by anyone.”

And of course, there was no way out. You are doomed, he believed.

He concluded that leaving his ideas behind was his only choice. According to conventional conventions, he continued acting normally. Even though he had a crush on a boy in college, he nevertheless made friends with a girl, She fell in love with him and the two of them eventually got together. Even though he had no idea why he was deceiving himself, he was aware that something was wrong. He continued living in his cocoon, He didn’t know that coming out was really an option. He married the girl and had two children, but he always felt incomplete. When he told his wife one day, she didn’t really believe him.” You can’t be gay”, she said in response. It was a challenge rather than a command. She implied that he was definitely not gay.

But by expressing that, he felt better. He didn’t care if she believed him or not. He got to hope when he saw advertisements for a gay Bar. He started going out and meeting new people, people like him. He met different people, He met a man who was very different. He was quite older but Martin’s world slid when he was around him. Martin began to have feelings toward him. He could sense movement all around him. He felt like himself for the first time. The man reading the letter wiped his eyes and said, “yes, that was me.”

 He realized what it was like to be joyful and in love for the first time. He was too delighted to give it much thought, even though he knew what he was doing was wrong for his family. He then began the relationship in private. His family could never know about this. Alongside his daily responsibilities, he did enjoy this. Later, he was promoted to manager at work.

He was really skilled at living a double life – but still, he knew something was missing.

All he wanted to do was live freely, and come out. But he knew in his heart that he was powerless to do so. He lived his life, took care of his obligations, and retired early. He remained faithful to his partner and carried out his marriage vows till the very end. But he had split apart somewhere between social pressure and love. He led a normal life for so many years, but what others didn’t realize was what was going on inside his head. Others watched in surprise as Mr. Martin’s true love wiped his tears stepping down from the podium. All were wondering how a seemingly flawless man could be so sad for years and realize that true happiness was found elsewhere and still couldn’t enjoy it to the fullest. 

Masked Love

By: Anagha V

“Dear Friend,

Occasionally, when I lay down and closed my eyes, I used to feel like a skatefish in pisciculture. Bleak lifelessness around me – a world drained of joy. They only saw in black and white, do you realize?

The funny thing is, I swam around. I floated around like a little plastic toy, discarded into the vast ocean by some rich spoilt kid. As light, weightless, and wasted. I felt my fins and tail as I traversed the water, the strong current against them. 

My teachers had always told my parents that I was a queer child and that I daydreamed too often. Maybe they did get some part of it right, but I never dared to make the pun evident. Who are dreamers but lost souls, right? 

My room used to be no different from my terror of a thought loop. It was almost like a black hole, everything sucked you in, and you lost your nature. You know, like the universe is no longer to be governed by the Laws of Senses. If absurdism gets narrowed down, the only thing defined in it would be human hypocrisy. They ask you to love and then say you are not supposed to. They preach to you to be true to yourself but accept only sugar-coated lies. I know.

My school was no better. It was not like my friends were any kinder. Their images flickered in and out of my daily life like a television channel on a poor signal. Despite being left with all these people around me, I was permitted only to use one bland, broken communication device. Will they ever know me for who I truly am? And then I’m in the pond again, my form obscuring my vision. Would it have changed who I am? Would I have forgotten who I was? I am glad you were there through all this. 

At times I used to feel like this life was a conspiracy. But then you told me about the other colorful, joyous worlds I could spiral into when I was lost. Maybe all everyone in such a wicked world as mine needs is an ally. Things did not seem as hard. I finally had the courage to stand up for myself. You were not right by my side physically, true. But you were with me, in your heart. That is more than anything I wanted or needed. All this suffocation of shutting myself inside is finally off my shoulder, and I just wanted to say thank you.”

People are often just scared to speak up for themselves. They have to realize that what makes them unique is everything about them- their age, gender, identity, sexuality, interests, and whatnot. The pride community is not for today’s relief or tomorrow’s comfort. It is a movement for as long as it takes. And it is home. To love is human, and to love is divine.

Pride and Disprejudice

By: Dibyan Goswami

“Genders are like twin towers, earlier there were two but now it’s just a sensitive subject”. This is exactly what is wrong with our perception of gender, gender in itself is not a sensitive or confusing subject but it is our arrogance that makes it so. The fact is straight-forward, gender is not a discrete spectrum but rather a continuous spectrum of human identities. It is nothing to be afraid of or to be disgusted with but rather a change that should be welcomed with warmth as it is this change of gender identity that accommodates fellow humans as humans.

Disagreers would often say how earlier there was no mention of LGBTQ ever and gender was binary. But that’s exactly where we go wrong, if we were to broaden the time upto which our “earlier” extended, that is, if we go back to the ancient world, there was never any mention of LGBTQ because there was no concept of heterosexual or homosexual relationships. There was no “us” and “them”, it was only “us” and it was all about loving who one liked. In fact, same sex-relationships were highly common in Mesopotamia. In ancient Mesopotamia, god Enki is said to have created a third-gender as servants for his daughter, thus, the non-binary gender was recognised thousands of years ago as the third gender. The Almanac of Incantations contains prayers for both opposite and same-sex marriage proving how gods even blessed same-sex relationships.

Records dating back to 600 BCE refer to same sex-relationships in China where it was believed that the upper class lover would dignify the lower class lover, bringing prosperity into his life. Chinese literature is home to several poems and anecdotes on same-sex relationships, one of these known as “the cut sleeve” tells how emperor Ai was resting with his lover Dong Xian who had fallen asleep on Ai’s robe. Instead of waking up Dong Xian, emperor Ai instead cut off his sleeve so that his lover could sleep peacefully and went to attend court in a disheveled state. Isn’t this a very wholesome story? There is nothing wrong in bringing back a tradition that can be home to thousands of such wholesome stories.

Back in 1250 BCE, the Indian law code, Manusmriti treats both same-sex and oppsite-sex relationships equally and the Kama Sutra references the third gender too. While the third gender (Hijra) is marginalized in present day India, there is nothing in ancient scriptures that marginalizes them. Our culture is undoubtedly one of the richest cultures in the world and we should be proud of it. While we talk of returning to our traditional values, it is still a taboo to talk about same-sex relationships. While the ancient Indian culture never stigmatized same-sex relationships and transgenders, “modern-day” Indian culture does, surprisingly, same-sex relationships in India were made illegal by a colonial era law establised by the Britishers. Now, in modern-day British culture, same-sex relationships are being welcomed as an indication of a more “modern”, self-aware and educated society. Irony lies in the fact that our society was always more welcoming and wholesome for the third gender and same-sex relationsips.

Thus, talks about pride month shouldn’t really trigger us or make us feel uncomfortable, rather they should act as a reminder of our ancient culture that made India the richest country at one point of time, home to the strongest empires and housing the most diverse and rich culture. Hence, as an Indian we should proudly talk about same-sex relationships and rights for the LGBTQ+ community. In the end, it is all about loving who you like as love knows no gender.

Holy Matrimony

By – Danika Shrivastava

The year started on a good note for Amna. Last year, her elder daughter, Ayesha, got married to a very mature and handsome young man from a prosperous family. But for the past few weeks, she was worried about her younger daughter’s marriage prospects; Ahana, who had gone to London to pursue her economics major and just graduated. But instead of returning, she stayed back in London. She wanted to find a groom for her daughter, the way she found one for her elder one. But when Ahana, her younger daughter, decided to stay back and explore the city, a myriad of unholy thoughts erupted in her mind. What if she decides not to marry, and all the eligible guys get married to other girls? Or even worse, what if she married outside her religion. But they seemed meaningless worries of the past, as only a few days back, Ahana had decided to get married. And not just that, her daughter had called her to inform her that the person she chose as her suitor is Shahyar Khan, a well-off lawyer by profession.

Their home was decorated, kebabs were rolled on the grill, dry fruits were steeped with sweetened milk as the preparations to welcome the guest were underway. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. When she opened the door, she was surprised to see Ahana. She pulled her into a tight hug while her eyes were meandering to see her groom. But instead, all she saw was another girl, whom she assumed was a friend of hers. She asked her, “Where is Shahyar?” A slight smile rose on her face as she said, “Ammi, this is Shahyar.”

For a moment, Amna was bewildered. She thought it was a prank, which her daughter had been very fond of playing since her childhood. But when they came inside holding hands, her fears began to rise again. She inquired about her again but got the same response. Finally realizing the truth, she lost her cool. 

“How can you do this? This is forbidden. A woman can only be a wife to a man. Are you out of your mind?” she screamed. Within minutes, this evolved into a full-fledged fight. While Amna tried hard to justify her thinking, Ahana only made things worse by questioning her blind faith and ridiculing her thinking.

Amna retired back to her kitchen in tears. Shahyar tried to talk to Ahana to realize that it takes time for people, unknown to the LGBTQ community, to get along with it. But Ahana kept saying that they both should return to London, get married, and forget anything happened.

While a sorrowful atmosphere surrounded their house, Amna’s maternal instinct kicked in when she realized that both the girls must have been hungry. So, she took some kebabs and brought them to the girls, parallelly trying to make her daughter realize that what she was doing was wrong. 

Suddenly, Ayesha stepped in through the front entrance, tears flowing down her face, murmuring something between her cries.

Ahana and Amna rushed to her side and asked what was wrong. While weeping, Ayesha told them that her husband had just decided to remarry another girl, and when she protested, he instantly threatened her with divorce and yelled “talaq” twice. And now she cannot live under the same roof with him and demanded that before he could, she wanted to separate. 

This incident shocked Amna to an extent she could not have imagined. How could the perfect groom do such a thing to her daughter? Words failed her, and she ran back into the kitchen in utter shock.

While the situation was not what Shahyar expected, she still believed that Ahana’s mother would eventually accept her.  Ahana’s mother reminded her of her own mom. She supported her from the streets of London to getting educated in one of the top colleges.

Since Ahana was preoccupied with consoling her inconsolable sister, she sensed Amna alone in the kitchen. So, she decided to go and comfort Amna. She saw Amna cooking milk before putting in dry fruits in the kitchen. She gently passed the bowl of dry fruits to her and calmly said, “Aunty! I know I am not the son in law that you might have expected for Ahana, but I can promise that I will always be there for her. And I will never let her cry”.

Listening to Shahyar, Amna started to question how someone supposed to be the perfect husband could treat their wife this way. What is the true essence of marriage? Is it love or is it to be with someone because society deems it so? And as she was questioning her thoughts on marriage, she further doubted whether love was bound to gender or the person and their beliefs. 

Without love, even the best of the marriage may tarnish, and with love, no matter what society says, even the most eccentric marriage can flourish. 

She may not have accepted Shahyar yet, but she began to question her beliefs to fit into this modern society. Amna suddenly smiled at Shahyar and made her sit with her daughters, Ayesha and Ahana. Amna had tears of happiness in her eyes as she brought out the kheer and served it to her three daughters.

Transphobia

In countries like India where transgenders are celebrated and homosexuality is well portrayed in ancient history and arts, colonialization has severely ruined the culture. On the other hand, the world right now has leaders legalizing homosexuality and gay marriages and still having a sense of transphobia or homophobia. 

Here are some positive news headlines that caught my attention:

->Ellen Page- the Oscar-nominated star of “Juno” recently come out as a transgender, and introduced himself as Elliot Page. He came out as a gay in 2014 and since then has been the flagbearer of the handful stars from LGBTQ community. 

->On the human rights day, Bhutan became the latest country to approve a bill that decriminalizes homosexuality.

-> Surprisingly, the top-most official of the Mexican Catholic Church agreed with Pope Francis’s comments that are concerned with the welfare of LGBTQ+ children.

->Clément Beaune, the French European Affairs Minister came out as gay recently and became the representative of a mass change in face of the conservative ideologies of EU. 

-> Mara Gomez, 23, made her debut as the first trans player to play for the highest division of Argentine soccer. 

-> Northern Ireland legalised abortion and same-sex marriage a year ago. Now the legislation has come into effect which enables couples to convert their same-sex civil partnership to a marriage.

Then there are some headlines which broke my heart:

->A Turkish group of 19 people at Ankara’s MET University will face a trial for staging a peaceful protest during the annual pride march, which was violently broken up by police and over 20 students were arrested.

->Poland’s ruling Law and Justice Party made “LGBT-free” zones making them vulnerable to face discrimination. It also supports organizations that spread homophobia. 

->JK Rowling faced backlash for allegedly insulting the transgender community through her comments. Controversies sparked when she was called a TERF (Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist) for using “people who menstruate” instead of women. 

So, clearly, there’s an upstanding majority which is trans/ homophobic. In fact, the statement is an undertone if it had to indicate the hostility faced by the transgender community all over the world. The hostility isn’t restricted to jokes or hatred but severe violence and invasiveness. 

In the most progressive countries of the world, there are politicians and influential people rallying to criminalize health care for transgenders- denying their right to exist. 

It’s the transphobes and homophobes who have blood on their hands, their demeaning rage and insulting comments which are responsible for the four times higher rate of suicide attempts of the trans community as compared to their heterosexual counterparts. 

Factually, our lived experiences indicate our complex histories thereby guiding our opinions and often creating the prism of our biases. But the mainstream media continues to ignore the adversities faced by the trans community and keeps us devoid of all such experiences which is why we fail to realise the gravity of the situation.

The LGBTQ youth face more bullying, cyberbullying, stigma, anxiety, attention deficit disorders, abject rejection, mistreatment, homelessness and substance abuse. While the people belonging to LGBTQ+ community are more resilient and soldier through all the adversities, they face poor mental health outcomes like increased risks of depression and self-inflicted injuries due to their cisgender peer victimization and non-supportive family members. Their medical needs often remain unmet. Sadly, they are not even safe in their own homes. Repulsion, pity and social rejection are all forms of homophobia. This not only compromises their integrity but inhibits them from making intimate bonds with the ones who they love.

The broad contention of the LGBTQ+ community and human rights activists is that- biological sex and gender identity should be recognized distinctively. And No! In differentiating these terms, discrimination against women is not being perpetuated while it is possible that the cis-identity and its majoritarian privileges are confounding in the face of the odds that the transgender community has to face, their voices remain unheard.

Transphobia and Homophobia are rooted in sexism. It has been ingrained in our minds that males and females are two mutually exclusive rigid sexes, and possess unique and non-overlapping abilities, traits and desires. Traditionally masculinity was considered superior to femininity which further fueled insecurities in people about gender norms. 

Flaws in teaching and the lack of education on sexual drives and experiences of the non-binary genders also incite sexual violence towards transgenders.

Well, in simpler words, having a gender preference that discriminates against the transgender community, makes you transphobic and claiming for the rights of cisgendered doesn’t. But claiming the rights of just the cisgenders and undermining those of the transgenders does. One thing that we need to understand is that they are not “confused” about their sexuality and are in no way “wrong” or “unfortunate” or “outcasts”. And there’s no “real” or binary gender as such. Social acceptance is primary and foremost to let go of our homophobia or biphobia or transphobia! There’s nothing wrong in embracing who you are.

References:

The Umbrella Academy star Elliot Page comes out as transgender

High-ranking Catholic official agrees with Pope Francis’s support for the LGBTQ+ community

Same-sex couples in Northern Ireland able to marry for the first time

French cabinet minister comes out as gay and vows to fight ‘LGBT-free’ zones in Poland

Mara Gomez debuts as Argentina’s first trans pro soccer player in historic match

Students in Turkey are facing three-year jail sentences for celebrating Pride

50 countries call for an end to Poland’s anti-LGBTQ+ discrimination

https://indianexpress.com/article/explained/jk-rowling-transgender-remarks-controversy-explained-6484322/

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